I just came back from a few days at a John Lyons clinic in Pensacola, Fla. I enjoyed John’s teaching and I connected with three amazing women that I don’t get to see often. I also got a front-row lesson about dealing with fear.

John opened the clinic with a dinner at which he told the riders what they could expect during the following few days. He told them they were responsible for their own safety and if at any point they didn’t feel safe, they had full permission to take a break or opt out of an exercise. He explained that fear plays an important role in keeping us safe. He used the illustration that if your teenage daughter was afraid to get in a car with a drunk driver, you wouldn’t tell her to  “get over it.”  You’d be glad she listened to her common sense. So, too, if you don’t feel ready to do an exercise with your horse, you should listen to the important information your brain is telling you.

On my way through Georgia, I stopped by to visit the first friend. She is an incredible person — good teacher, good horseman, and cancer survivor. She has had 10 operations and countless bouts of chemo. If anyone has reason to whine or let fear of the future get her down, she does, but you don’t hear whining. Instead, her conversations are about her horses, students and garden, enjoying today and looking toward the future. This month she’s focused on making her young horse the best he can be by riding him in lots of situations and in different locations, from working cattle to crossing creeks to riding in a big group of horses. If anyone is suited to help a young horse learn to go forward with confidence, she is.

My second friend has some fear issues when it comes to riding. She has had some good scares, and we all know those things stay with you. She’s a good rider, but she doesn’t want to be scared or for her horse to be upset. She took seriously John’s admonition to “Ride where you can and not where you can’t.” So she rode for part of the clinic, then sat out when she felt she or her horse were too tired or nervous to feel on top of things. During her time on the sidelines, she listened carefully to what was being taught and she watched the other riders. Then, while everyone else was at lunch, she took advantage of the open arena to work on the same exercises the class had done. She didn’t let fear immobilize her. Instead, she found a better way to develop the control that she wanted.

My third friend recently bought a big, young horse who had a rough start in life and a lot of fear. She knew she had her hands full, so she trailered him the 11 hours to get John’s help. She was smart enough to recognize that this wasn’t about looking good at a clinic but making a difference in her horse’s life — and keeping herself safe. The first day, when she ran into difficulty, she wasn’t too proud to ask for help. Then, the next day, after a big scare, she decided to sit out a while. After gathering her thoughts, she took the horse back into the arena and worked him from the ground. She reasoned that he wouldn’t learn the exercise sitting in his stall. That took a lot of guts on her part.

These women were on my amazing people list before the weekend, but seeing how they took responsibility for themselves, handled their apprehensions, and still moved forward toward their goals really inspired me, and I hope it does you. If you’re afraid, don’t beat yourself up, and don’t let anyone bully you into doing something you don’t feel confident doing. Please take a minute to think about John’s advice that fear is a good thing. He says that it’s “common sense in disguise.”