There are two ways to look at this. One is to think about what they’re losing — as if downsizing was a fallback position. The problem with that is no matter how well you try to frame it, it feels like failure, like the dream gone wrong.

But munching on a few carrots as you try to get your mind around it, you can reframe the discussion, as we did. What if they talk about the past as Phase One and the future as Phase Two? The first phase involved quantity and building — many horses. The second involves quality and development — quality of time or investment and advanced training.

In phase one, many of the horses were green broke — all that potential, but undeveloped. In phase two, they get to see the potential play out — three well-trained horses, fulfilling their potential, and ready to ride, not struggling for the right lead or calmness on the trail.

In phase one, the pastures struggled, because the horses were always on them. In phase two, horses can rotate in pastures, allowing the farm to look better and the pastures to have hardier grass. Then there’s the quantity of tack, feed, shavings storage, not to even mention the amount of help needed. In phase two, all those things are more manageable, including the vehicles necessary to maintain the farm.

Selling the horses they’ve bred and loved won’t be an easy task. But even as we went through the list, their load lightened with each horse even theoretically gone.

Many of us have to downsize in one way or another. How well we make the move emotionally may depend on whether we treat it as if we’re falling from a great height or rising to a better quality of life. It takes courage to make the leap. Carrots can help.