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The other evening, my husband asked for my help writing an email. He’s a good writer, so this wasn’t a matter of craft. It was a matter of trying to say the right thing in the right way. He was responding to an email that had a number of elements and a few questions. We recognized that there were two things going on — the literal answer to the questions and the relationship with the writer of the email. Email is great in that it is so quick. But sometimes in the quick response, the relationship gets stressed. If you say too much, someone may skim your answer, glossing over important points, or you could introduce too many thoughts, leaving the reader guessing what you really meant. Too short a response and the reader wonders if you were irritated by the questions. We spent about an hour adding words and taking them away. We ended up with a shorter email than we started with, but a warm ending that told the reader we’d look forward to getting together for tacos to fill in the finer points. When we were finished, my husband said, “It takes a lot of work to say less well.” I got to thinking how much that phrase applies to horse training. When working with your horse, there are two aspects — the maneuver and the relationship. Each interaction is like an instant message, a tiny email. You go back and forth. If you are too abrupt, you introduce conflict. If too complicated, you introduce confusion. There’s the tension of getting the horse to do what you want without stressing the relationship. Not an easy line to walk, but one worth taking the effort to walk well. Have a good week, and tell me how you handle this topic with your horse or your email. (http://www.inspiredbyhorses.com/contact.html)
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