This week I am headed to the Annual Meeting of the US Pony Club to speak to the leaders about how to grow their local clubs. I am excited about this opportunity because organizations like Pony Club (http://ponyclub.org) help kids to develop personal and leadership skills. These kids will lead and shape our world in the years to come.

My goal is to remind leaders that they are doing something worthwhile. Sure, there’s the challenge of how to engage kids in a time when a million programs offer to entertain them. But entertainment has its limit, and leaders who care about what they’re doing are up to the challenge. I offer those same words of encouragement to anyone teaching horsemanship, sportsmanship, how to work toward a goal, and so forth.

My experience is that kids want to connect with what’s real, and horses give them a great opportunity to do that. They don’t mind working hard and obeying rules, as long as those rules have meaning. They want leaders who are real, too. In fact, we all need real-life heroes.

This past week we saw how good training, personal discipline, and character played out in the lives of so many people, as Captain Sullenberger guided US Airways Flight 1549 to land in the Hudson. We marveled at his ability to keep a cool head, to weigh factors and make good, quick decisions. We could talk a long time about how he knew his aircraft well enough to make that extraordinary landing, his dedication to check through the downed plane before himself being rescued, and so forth. It is inspirational.

And then we remember that when we’re teaching kids how to handle horses, we’re helping them to develop those same qualities. Sure, there’s the fun of “playing” with your horse or of winning a competition. But as kids get up early to bring warmed water to their horses on a cold morning before going to school, when they painstakingly figure out a lesson plan in training for an event, when they forego loping because of riding with someone on a skittish horse, when they help another kid get ready for a class, when they don’t take their frustration out on their horse, they’re practicing the same strength-of-character skills. And anyone who has worked with horses for very long knows what it’s like to manage fear and develop confidence. 

Not many people have occasion to read the Pony Club pledge, so I thought I’d include it here: “As a member of the United States Pony Club, I stand for the best in sportsmanship as well as in horsemanship. I shall compete for the enjoyment of the game well played and take winning or losing in stride, remembering that without good manners and good temper, sport loses its cause for being. I shall endeavor to maintain the best tradition of the ancient and noble skill of horsemanship, always treating my horse with the consideration due a partner.”

You don’t have to be a Pony Club leader to model that sentiment and teach it to your kids. It’s worth doing. And, if necessary, use words. Let’s hope your kids don’t have to land a plane in the Hudson. But if they do, they’ll be ready.

If you say too much, someone may skim your answer, glossing over important points, or you could introduce too many thoughts, leaving the reader guessing what you really meant. Too short a response and the reader wonders if you were irritated by the questions.

We spent about an hour adding words and taking them away. We ended up with a shorter email than we started with, but a warm ending that told the reader we’d look forward to getting together for tacos to fill in the finer points. When we were finished, my husband said, “It takes a lot of work to say less well.”

I got to thinking how much that phrase applies to horse training. When working with your horse, there are two aspects — the maneuver and the relationship. Each interaction is like an instant message, a tiny email. You go back and forth. If you are too abrupt, you introduce conflict. If too complicated, you introduce confusion. There’s the tension of getting the horse to do what you want without stressing the relationship. Not an easy line to walk, but one worth taking the effort to walk well.

Have a good week, and tell me how you handle this topic with your horse or your email. (http://www.inspiredbyhorses.com/contact.html)

Corgis shed blonde hair — a lot of it. That reminds me of the time we went to visit friends who said, “Be sure to dress in Golden Retriever colors. No matter how often you vacuum, it’s still hair season.” When I walk across the carpet in summer, I’m fine. But as I walk across the carpet in winter,  I gather static — and blonde Corgi hair. So we have a sticky roller near the front door to de-hair ourselves before going out.

My options are to live with the Corgi (and the hair) or send her down the road. I’ll live with the Corgi. Because you see, the dog isn’t really the problem. The static is.

We can encounter static in many forms — grumpy family members, disrespectful drivers, work loads that don’t match our job description, and even our too-frisky horses. The horse who seems to forget his manners on a cold morning is dealing with static, too.

When it comes to static cling, you can try adding an extra dryer sheet to a load of clothes. You can also rub those dryer sheets over your horse. That may help you to not shock him as you take off his blanket. But those fixes are marginal (write me in the comments section below if you have a good solution.)

When it comes to other kinds of static, grace is the best help. When we recognize that static is a normal part of life, we can relax and make arrangements for it. My husband touches my shoulder to discharge any static before he kisses me goodbye in the morning. I slow down when taking my horse’s blanket off, so I don’t zap him. And I try to count to three before I answer someone if I feel the sparks may fly.

That momentary pause to ground ourselves is more important than most people realize. It does more than discharge static electricity. It helps bring calm. It’s the quality we really like in a coach, whose words or touch is energizing, but steadying. It’s the quality we like in a driver, who can navigate hectic traffic without getting riled up. And it’s the quality our horse likes in us, when we sit deep and relaxed instead of perching nervously on the saddle.

Taking an extra moment to ground ourselves won’t make us late. It will do the opposite. It will help us get through the static of life.