I tried to not take offense, telling myself that the distinction was probably like how a farm back East would be referred to as a ranch out West. But I was using the Western term, “trainer,” not the term “instructor,” so it continued to eat at me. After all, I was trying to make a go of things in a new community, and you tend to take comments personally.

Six weeks later when he came to shoe, I asked my farrier about it. He said that he’d meant it as a compliment. He knew plenty of local trainers who took horses in training, taught them their stuff, then handed them back to an untrained rider. Before long, the horse would be back for a professional tune up. So the trainer had a horse client for life.

My approach was to teach people, training the horse when necessary. He had never met anyone with that system, so he was using the term, “riding instructor” as meaning, “not just a horse trainer.”

Good trainers have always taught people, too, so my purpose isn’t to talk about horse training vs riding instruction. It’s to point out how I took something intended as a carrot to be a stick. In my sensitivity, I misread a compliment — and beat myself up about it. It’s good to remember that that kind of thing happens.